Sunday, May 23, 2004

The NY Times Follows Suit. Following in the steps of their French allies, the NY Times, world reknowned home of objective journalism, genocide whitewash, and reporters who make the whole thing up, has announced its surrender to Nazi forces. First Minister Frank Rich wrote the announcement declaring fealty to Generalissimo Michael Moore's Neo-Nazi Leftist manifesto Farenheit 911. Rich, a world-reknowned journalist who recently spent a year watching pornography in order to write a series of essays in which he claimed that he didn't find any of it erotic and only watched it for the articles, is now likely to be a shoo-in for the NY Times hall of fame, which already includes lumineries such as Jayson Blair, Sydney Schanberg (for his brilliant obliviousness to the Khmer Rouge genocide), and Walter Duranty (who, in an extraordinary achievement for its time, successfully whitewashed Joseph Stalin's slaughter of 20 million Soviet citizens). Moore announced that he appreciated the Times's endorsement, and said it would not effect his intake of fried foods, which he expected to remain high. Moore's children, who attend an exclusive private school for the children of multi-billionares, could not be reached for comment.

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