Fast on the heels of his breakout fundraising success, former Vermont Governor and Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean stunned political observers over the holiday weekend by reaching another milestone: attracting his first supporter who isn't chronically stoned.

"This is good news and, frankly, we're ahead of our own timetable," said a Dean spokesman. "Honestly, we didn't expect to have any supporters who aren't ripped on weed all the time until at least the fall. At this point, we expect to make significant inroads among voters who don't skateboard and voters who don't wear Birkenstock sandals and hemp-based clothing within the next few weeks."

Saint Howard gets a well-deserved shellacking at the American Spectator. The truth hurts.